There are people who are so excited for me to explore the world, and then there are people who are planing for me to disappear and not make it back to the states alive..
Today is my first blog post, so I’m not going to overthink it. I’m just going to simply write what’s going on in my life..
About 6 months ago I moved out of my mom’s house and moved in with my dad. It was horrifying to throw a bomb in my life and leave the safety and stability of what I was used to, but I didn’t realize that there wasn’t any “real” stability living with my mom, only perceived stability, because it was what I was used to..
Just because I’m used to something doesn’t mean it’s stable. It’s only “comfortable”.
I’m starting this blog today because:
- Everyone says to start a blog. I’m VERY passionate about staying independent and not working a normal 9am-5pm job. (Right now to make money, I busk (play music on the streets), gig with my guitar and voice, flip crypto currencies, sell online courses, and I’ve sold my first item on eBay (lol))…
- I foresee a lot of free time on my hands. Between flight layovers, long 18hr flights to South Africa and back, living with my mom again for a few days a week (which involves a lot of time locked in my room so we don’t argue), and more time in my room at Dad’s just sitting there twiddling my thumbs, I feel like blogging is an least more productive than doing nothing.
- I want to share this year of my life. I turned 22 on September 14th and today’s date is October 29th. Already, I’ve gotten my passport. It should be here today (Friday) or Monday. And I’ve gotten into cryptocurrencies and made a profit from selling them when they’re high after buying them when they’re low. I’ve done so much more and I want to share these big and small life-changing moments and discoveries.
I was talking with Mom for a few hours on the phone yesterday. She was driving back from her apartment in Nashville. We haven’t been speaking very much lately because I moved out and basically said, “Fuck you, I want to live my own life.” But I feel terrible ditching her. I can’t never speak to my mother again. She’s already in her 60’s and I want to have a healthy relationship with her..
She is diagnosed as manic depressive and to me, this means she is impulsive, highly enthusiastic, fearless and self-centered. Sounds like some of your friends maybe. There is an intense anger and rage that can explode if I do something wrong..
I take responsibility for what I can do or say wrong and I’m only stating this to give some context..
She is also opinionated (like we all can be) and as a mother, has started sharing her concerns for my first international trip to South Africa. Not only is it my first international trip, it’s my first trip on a plane..
In June, I packed my bags and stayed in Nashville for 10 days all by myself. My friend in South Africa kept me company, but I was alone, without someone there to help me if I had a problem..
So one may wonder why I want to take this trip to Cape Town, SA..
Before I get to that, I want to share what Mom said to me on the phone. She said she’s disappointed. Disappointed that I turned out to be a person who would take a trip that has some possible danger involved. South Africa isn’t the safest country in the world. I understand that. But it was hard to hear that your mother isn’t proud of who you turned out to be..
I had 12 months of life coaching with a certified Tony Robbins’ Life and Business Coach. I highly recommend this if you are unsure what the fuck you’re doing in life. My first life coach, Kick Ass Kevin, brought this to my awareness:
I want the best for my parents and they want the best for me.
That’s a fact, unless your parents are malicious and are trying to “take you down”, which I doubt..
Mom just wants me to be safe, happy, and wealthy. That makes sense. But I’ve always been a people pleaser. And she has told me this, and it’s true. I enjoyed doing things that make others happy..
I know this isn’t the smartest thing to do. And I understand what she and others think about South Africa..
On the flip side, there are tourists who go to Cape Town all the time, have a great time, and come back home alive and well..
My lesson with this is:
Weigh the pros, weigh the cons.
The reason I’m going is because I want to meet a friend that I’ve known for a year who I met through one of my virtual songwriting boot camps. I met him when I scouted I’m out on a songwriting group, and we’ve become really close friends. And I want to meet him. It’s that simple.
Plus, it’s going to be Christmas soon, and it’s summertime in SA during the holiday season. I won’t get to be with my family for Christmas, and this is one of the cons. And I’ve thought a lot about this. My little brother is the one who I feel the most for. But fuck, I’ve spent 21 Christmas’s with my fam already and I have something else that I want to do this Christmas..
Maybe that sounds cold-hearted or insensitive, but I’ve spent my whole life making other people happy. I, Ginger Winn, want to do this. I have the money, I have the time, and I’m fucking excited as shit to take myself across seas. I could wait until January, but I don’t want to..
This might upset people, but what kind of life is lived when you’re living to keep people happy and stress-free?
End of blog #1.